Pathetic!!!

How pathetic have I become? How middle aged? How middle America? Well let me tell you my friend. Today I'm excited about buying new luggage. That's right, I'm actually excited to purchase things that hold my clothes while I travel amongst strangers in a small cylinded that is rocket propelled into the sky for periods of time before gravity wins and we all return to earth and then go our merry ways.

How do people not love me?